Chances are, your Father was/is way more bad ass than you. He probably burned his draft card, got loads of fine trim, played in bands, did a ton of drugs and partied harder than any present day frat boy could even wish to come near. And if confronted by a present day frat boy, would out party him, lower his "status" 3 or 4 ranks to scum not using speech, steal frat boys girl, and become legends of the campus just because he can. Dad is basically the Rebel you never could be.
So what could these two men have that you probably don't. Well Ill give you a hint. Its related to shaving. Yeah, that is right. Your Grandfather, and Father probably shaved like men when they learned. They cut the piss out of themselves and learned how to shave properly by using archaic tools. And they appreciated it. Essentially men today have become all too familiar with the disposable razor, and lame canned gels and shaving cream's. You are the first generation to abandon one of probably the most important arts known to the almighty Alpha. You have been shaving wrong this whole damn time.
"Click for expanded image"
Are you still with me? Well since you read this far, clearly this sounds familiar. You go to the store buy a pack of cartridges for your Mach 3. Then you go and find a can of shaving gel/cream that probably has pictures of Master Chief or Steven Segal on it, and you paid way too much for both because you are used to the common convenient ways and are uneducated. Not because you are Beta necessarily, but because you simply do not know that shaving is an Art and isn't supposed to be taken for granted. Stop being ignorant. Now you have no excuses.
"What do I do if I have to stop buying razors at my local big box stores TSB? How will I shave?" Easy there padewan, I got the solution and its super easy.
Believe it or not, there is a whole world that still believes that wet shaving is the best way to shave. Wet shaving is most commonly done with a straight razor or a single, or double edge razor blade. For the bulk of this I will refer to double edge or DE as the method of choice, because lets face it. The straight razor isn't the way to go if you are starting out on this adventure.
Besides this Alpha - Beta junk why should you switch? Ill list a few reasons here:
- It is cheaper. Without a doubt, it will save you money in the long run.
- Very consistent, high quality shaves. (After you learn the ways of the elders)
- Environmentally friendly.
- Teddy Roosevelt. He was shot mid speech and finished it with a gaping, bloody, untreated, sucking chest wound. He shaved this way.
Its cheaper. A pack of 10 blades will run you about $1.70. Suck on that modern day cartridges! And each blade (if DE is the choice) can last for 2 shaves effectively. The shaves are consistent once the skills are acquired. They will be closer, and last longer than the common day multi-blade counterparts. Smooth as a baby butt smooth is what you will be. Its environmentally better because landfills are full of plastic disposable razors. With DE shaving you only throw away the blade. There is no cans going into the trash for the shaving soap or cream either. The blades can be recycled, and the creams produce no trash.
Now you want to save your hard earned clams, protect mother nature, and get consistent baby butt smooth shaves. But what do I need to start out? Its not expensive to get started with either. The high-end of the finest shaving kits run $800+. Your kit will not even come remotely close to this. Lets try, oh about $20 initially, or less. Even if you try it and you decide to go back to your earth polluting, money wasting, ingrown hair creating ways, you will not be out much. Choosing to go back to disposable razors may also reduce your chance to meet the woman of your dreams. Beta patches will go back on immediately.
"John sat next to the water cooler, and sulked in the beta after his demotion."
You will need to choose:
- A razor
- Blade
- Shaving Cream or Soap
- Mug or Scuttle
- After shave, or Lotion
- Styptic pencil
Razors can be had on the cheap or free even. Ask your Father or Grandfather if they still have theirs. Heirloom stuff can be cleaned and used again. Nothing is more nostalgic than an Alpha passing down a tool for the next generation to grow and learn with. You can also go to the antique shops and local junk stores and find functional pieces to use. They are cheap running from $4 - $10 easily new and used. Make sure they take modern DE blades too. Blades on the other hand, are available most places like Walmart, CVS, Walgreens and other merchants. They are all cheap and easy to get a hold of usually. Utilize online sources like Ebay to find all of these items you cannot find locally. Creams and or soaps are fairly easy to get too. The pucks can be had at the same places as the blades. Look for them good. Chances are you never noticed they were there in the first place. They are cheap too. Under $2.00 and will last much longer than the canned counterparts. Mugs and scuttles are another thing. You do not NEED a scuttle or expensive mug. Use a mug such as one for coffee and as long as it holds your puck in place, it will work. No expensive things needed here for a beginner. After shave isn't necessary but I recommend a lotion post shave to smooth, hydrate and even train your skin to the new experience. Styptic pencils can be used also to stop bleeding from nicks and cuts. It helps a lot for the beginners. You will get cut up a little bit. It happens to all of us at one point or another.
Walmart still sells Van Der Hagen kits with a mug, brush, and a puck for under $10. Boar hair brushes are cheap but they soften up a bit after using, and the kit comes with one of fair quality. Its perfect for the beginner. Van Der Hagen is pretty good stuff. It would be worth a look I think. I personally have a stockpile of the VDH soap pucks. It is very easy to work with, and forgiving on the lathering retarded. It also has a very faint scent that is nice too. (Typically, I dont care for fragrance in hygiene items, my natural smells attract the finest of women from yonder.)
Now that you got the tools, how do you go about learning how to shave? Well the simple answer is watching videos and tutorials or going ape on your face with none of the homework. I advise you all to research it first. The first couple of times you shave, you may get nicks and cuts. Big deal. You learn from your mistakes, and next time you do things differently. Watching videos will help clean that bloody curve up. The video below illustrates most of the important things to note to save your hide.
There is a ton more to this than just shaving, and I wont get into it too much here as this is an intro to possibly a mult-part installment for the TSB. Invest a small amount of research and time into finding a kit that fits what you can afford. After doing it a short time, you will soon find out that it is a luxury not a chore. It is meant to be a ritual for us. Its time for us to reflect and relax. Unless you have the option to have a beard all year, you fall into this category and can try it out and you should. Make your Grandpa, and Fathers proud. Learn the ways and hope one day to show your own Son how to shave this same way. Pass it down to the next generation. And if you do not do it for this reason, do it because Teddy Roosevelt did.
A great place to start research about this area is the Art of Manliness website. It has many links to place to get started on this endeavor.
- TSB
Works Cited/Places of interest
Art of Manliness Official Website - Bookmark this page
http://www.artofmanliness.com/
Teddy Roosevelt - Short read on the Alpha himself
http://www.cracked.com/article_15895_the-5-most-badass-presidents-all-time_p5.html
Classic Shaving Supply
http://www.classicshaving.com/Home.html
Ebay
http://www.ebay.com
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